If you are like most couples, you may find that, when you and your beloved work on projects together, you tend to criticize your beloved or feel criticized, you have different opinions, and they become a source of conflict or stress, you wish your beloved would just do things your way, you feel frustrated, annoyed, discouraged, disappointed, there’s a power struggle going on, and/or you start nitpicking.
Rest assured, you are not alone AND there is a much better way!
Today, we’re excited to share with you the 6 essential keys to working on any project with your beloved, whether it be a house project, running a business together, planning a party or vacation together, or raising children.
The first essential key is simply this…
#1 – Commit to being on the SAME team.
At the very beginning of the project and throughout the process, commit and recommit to being on the same team. This is your shared project, and you are in it together. Every time you notice you are working AGAINST each other, pause and recommit. Actually verbalize to your beloved that you are committed to being his or her teammate.
# 2 – Make clear agreements you both can live up to.
It is essential for both of you to be actively involved in creating clear agreements that work for you. Be sure you don’t agree to things you never expect to do, and also be sure you don’t have unfair expectations of your partner they never agreed to. Have a creative brainstorm together, each of you offering potential strategies for accomplishing whatever you need to do. Continue to flesh it out until you settle on clear and specific agreements that feel wonderful to you both.
# 3 – Recognize and lead with both of your strengths.
We believe so profoundly in creating relationships based on each partner’s strengths. Rather than focusing on where your partner falls short, focus on the places in which they shine. Create opportunities for your beloved to succeed and contribute in meaningful ways. Make sure your roles are best matched with the things you enjoy the most and come naturally. When there are tasks that match NEITHER of your strengths and interests, simply take turns and divvy up those things.
# 4 – Take personal responsibility.
Firstly, it is your responsibility to follow through on any agreements you made and to renegotiate agreements before breaking them. Also, if you feel frustrated at any time, notice how YOU are contributing to it not going well. And know that it is your responsibility to communicate your frustration in loving ways your beloved can actually hear. Ultimately, rather than waiting for your beloved to do so, take personal responsibility for bringing the joy, ease, and spirit of connection, collaboration, and teamwork into the project.
# 5 – Express appreciation as often as possible.
Think of appreciation as the most organic and life-giving fertilizer for your project. Expressing appreciation is one fail-proof way to shift from conflict into connection. If you don’t see anything to appreciate about your beloved, you just aren’t looking closely enough. Anytime the two of you get out of the flow, appreciate, appreciate, appreciate.
# 6 – Have fun!
When we work together, we are both really committed to the process being FUN. Therefore, when we start getting stuck or stressed, we simply pause and come back when our energy is flowing again. When we return, our renewed creativity and energy allows us to get so much more done than when we were stuck. If we have to keep going, we like to get up and start jumping around, laughing, or dancing to shift the energy and keep the fun.
We wish you an abundance of loving blessings. May you and your beloved discover a wondrous way of working together that brings out your best, that allows you to accomplish much more together than you could ever do alone, and that makes collaboration a joy!
Infinite Love and Joy,
PS: Visit this page to learn more about our counseling/coaching, retreats, and online courses (available anywhere in the world). You can also schedule a free consultation to see if we’re a great fit for the support you are seeking.
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