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Your Relationship is Only as Healthy as You Each Are Individually
Written on August 28th.

When we first got together nearly 17 years ago, I warned Bret: I love to experiment in the kitchen and can make some weird things. 😉 He laughed, and said he would eat just about anything.

Whew! 😉

I also told him I was aware that, now that he was in my life, the meals I cooked for myself would also be the ones I’d be making for him. In other words, we’d both be eating whatever I made.

In that moment, I remember realizing what a metaphor it was: in all our relationships, on some level, we both end up experiencing whatever each of us is individually doing, thinking, and feeling.

man catching woman jumping

Over the years, we’ve realized just how much we each have a responsibility when we enter into relationship — to always be nurturing our own wellbeing and health, not just physically but our mental health, our emotional health, and our spiritual health too — so that we can best contribute to the health of our relationship. … Read More.

6 Tips to Thrive as a Couple When Traveling (PLUS+ pics from our trips!)
Written on July 25th.

Travel season is upon us, and we’ve been hearing lots about it from clients recently! That’s why, for this month’s blog, we decided to revisit a topic we wrote about years ago: how to best travel together as a couple.

Although many people fantasize about a trip filled with laughter, deep connection, luxurious days just to delight in each other’s company, catching up on each other’s lives, and reigniting passion, research shows that many people get more benefit out of looking forward to the vacation (i.e. expected enjoyment) or reflecting on it afterwards (ex: some things that are difficult in the moment can make for really good stories afterwards!) than they do during the trip itself.

Turns out, for a lot of couples, traveling can be stressful. … Read More.

4 Keys to Save Your Relationship If You Are on the Edge of Separation
Written on June 20th.

When your relationship is on the edge of separation or divorce, it can be terrifying, emotionally overwhelming, and deeply painful.

But it can also be a ripe time for transformation in your relationship. Why? Because it’s human nature: the more we have to lose, the more highly motivated we are to change.

First of all, it’s easy to wonder: can our relationship be fixed or saved?

Undoubtedly, what we’ve discovered over the years is that most couples have barely tapped into the potential of their relationship. So there is definitely hope. However, it’s not as simple as just desperately wanting to save your relationship — it’s essential to know how.

Couple Embracing

In this months’ blog, we go over 4 key tips you can implement immediately to help save your relationship before it’s too late. … Read More.

3 Reasons Passion Fades in Relationships (+ How to Counteract it)
Written on May 30th.

No matter how passionately your relationship began, over time, it’s almost guaranteed that at least one of you will experience a dip in sexual desire.

Wondering why? In this month’s blog, we share three fascinating insights that help to explain things and what you can do to counteract them:

(1) We are prone to hedonic adaptation.

Hedonic adaptation refers to how we humans adapt and become habituated to most life changes, positive or negative. With challenges in life, this comes in handy, as we adapt to difficulty to make things tolerable. However, with the goodness of life, it works against us, and we quickly lose touch with the allure that uniquely comes when things are new.

Ever had the experience of loving a new outfit or car when you first got it – only to discover, months later, it lost its appeal? … Read More.

How to Give and Receive Feedback
Written on April 25th.

Happy Springtime!

We hope you are enjoying all of this amazing blossoming energy of renewal and new beginnings. Spring is a perfect time to also breathe some fresh new life into your love! 🙂

In your romantic relationship, have you ever noticed these two things happen?

(1) You have lots of opinions about what each other says or does.

(2) You are able see things about one another that you aren’t able to see in yourselves.

This can lead to:

  • Feeling controlled or criticized because of your partner’s opinions about who you are and what you do
  • Thinking it is your “duty” or “right” to tell your beloved your opinions and perspective, even when they haven’t asked
  • Blaming your partner and their actions for your emotional state
  • Getting defensive when they give you feedback, especially about things you aren’t yet willing or able to see

In most romantic relationships, we are constantly giving and receiving feedback with one another. … Read More.

How to Spot + Heal From an Emotional Affair
Written on March 28th.

With many couples busier than ever and spending more time apart than ever, emotional affairs come up often in our office. Not only are couples physically apart for the majority of their waking life (i.e. jobs, errands, kids, activities, etc.) — with the emergence of things like social media and cell phones, many couples also spend a lot of time energetically and emotionally apart.

When there is less time together, more time apart, and more time connecting with people outside the relationship, if things aren’t rock solid and intimately connected between the two of you, the stakes are high for emotional affairs developing.

Emotional affairs are a tricky subject for two key reasons:

(1) they are not as objective and clearly defined as a physical affair and often happen in public, innocent settings (i.e. … Read More.

Teasing your be​​loved: is it playful or harmful?
Written on February 21st.

We LOVE to laugh together.

We are huge advocates for the power of silliness and play in relationships. It creates lightness, bonding, and joy.

However, playfulness can become a very sensitive and delicate arena — especially when one partner thinks they are just joking around, and the other feels belittled, ridiculed, or hurt.

If you have ever heard or said the words “I was only kidding” — but the other person in the interaction felt stung by what was said, this blog is for you.

We have a very simple way to determine whether a playful moment is positive and healthy or one to completely stop in its tracks.

In this month’s blog, we’re excited to share what it is, so keep reading…

Playful Teasing

Teasing is a form of play that is not limited to only humans. … Read More.

When one partner is “controlling” and the other is checked out, here is what you NEED to know…
Written on January 17th.

We’ve been honored to support couples long enough that we now see patterns so recurring we could complete the sentences of clients as they explain what happens in their moments of conflict and disconnect.

Seeing each other

We will walk you through an example using some of our recent clients, who we will call Jason and Mary. (Although we used a male and female name for the two roles, please note that they are not gender-specific.)

They enter into couples counseling because Mary feels exasperated, frustrated, and deeply discouraged by how she does the majority of things — around the house, with the kids, and to show up in their relationship.

She complains about how Jason comes home from work and just relaxes on the couch while she runs around tending to everyone’s needs. … Read More.

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