Christine to Bret
My Dear Sweet Love,
I remember so well when we met over 9 years ago. I was on such an independent and solo spiritual journey, about to graduate from college, spend my summer in Asia, and move to California. And then we met. I vividly remember walking out of one of the amazing peace talks you had given and realized, if I didn’t connect with you, I would be missing out on something really significant in my life. I had no idea what it was, but I knew, in the depths of my being, I had to follow up with you. That Friday night in March of 2003, we had our first date eating stir-fried broccoli at Dragon Express, and we’ve been together since. Finding a fellow broccoli enthusiast was just one among countless ways I felt this uncanny resonance with you. From our first night together, I felt seen and heard by you in a mystical way like I never had before. There was something extraordinarily familiar about you, I felt instantly at home, and I have fallen more in love with who you are as a human being every day since.
Here are just some of the countless things I love, celebrate and appreciate about you, all of which are also ways you have inspired, touched, amazed, and taught me…
I love how brilliantly insightful you are, how you have a piercing ability to see what’s beneath the surface, how you maintain calm and centered no matter what is happening around you.
I love how you dream, see possibilities, and have such an adventuresome spirit.
I love how adorable and playful you are and how willing you are to be silly and laugh.
I love how we go to bed cuddling and giggling and doing our gratitude ritual.
I love, that in over 9 years, I think I’ve heard you say less than five judgmental comments about anyone.
I love how you persist at seeing the beauty and gifts in every single person and how you see others challenges with such deep and wise compassion.
I love how you understand me in ways I am continually in awe of and in ways beyond I often know myself, and how instantly grounded I feel in your presence.
I love how Ghandi, Joseph Campbell, and Nelson Mandela are your heroes.
I love that I still get bliss butterflies when we are out in public together, and I see you across the room.
I love how you love our Earth and live from the heart and how committed you are to social justice and human rights.
I love your masculinity and strength, and your femininity, softness and grace.
I love your insatiable love of learning and discovering.
I love how you worry so little and trust so greatly.
I love what an absolutely extraordinary father you are and how you have welcomed me into your relationship with Mayan in such an indescribably sweet and inclusive way.
I love how we share such a profound love for our quirky little poodle.
I love never having to walk on eggshells around you or censor anything and how wholeheartedly you embrace and accept all of who I am.
I love how your whole life is your spiritual practice.
Thank you for encouraging me to take risks and face my fears. Thank you for filling my life with wild amounts of joy. Thank you for making our family and our date nights a priority. Thank you for being so committed to a life of ease and grace. Thank you for holding a limitless space for me to dream my wildest dreams and for sincerely believing in me. Thank you for being so receptive to feedback, for forgiving so quickly, for being so flexible and willing, for having rock-solid integrity. Thank you for constantly encouraging me to be true to myself, for inspiring me daily to be the best version of me. Thank you for so patiently giving me time to grow and learn whatever I need to learn. Thank you for letting our home fill with hundreds of women’s circles over the years and never complaining, not even once, even when it meant you taking yourself to the movies or hiding out in Mayan’s bedroom for hours. Thank you for being so quick to give and give without ever keeping track of who gives more. Thank you for loving me, for loving life, so abundantly.
I love you so much, and the more and more I know you, the more and more I fall in love with you. Thank you so much for the precious and immeasurable gift of all you are and do and give.
When I look at you, I not only see the most handsome man I’ve ever met, I see the best friend I’ve ever had, someone I admire and believe in with my whole heart, and someone I feel so immensely blessed and honored to share the rest of my life with.
And I promise and commit to…
- Take an interest in whatever you are excited about
- Reflect back to you your magnificence
- Sprinkle yes’s all over you and our love
- Grow and grow and have an evermore thriving and blissful relationship
- Serve the world in a really big way with you
- Be completely honest with and faithful to you
- Celebrate your dreams as if they are my own
- Hear and embrace all of your feelings with love and compassion
- See creative solutions whenever challenges come up
- Give you space and time for sacred silence and stillness
- Play and laugh and be silly with you
- Allow you to change and grow, even when it feels scary to me
- Take personal responsibility and look first at how I contribute to any challenge we may face
- Take care of myself so that I can care for you in the biggest way possible
- Serve and support you in ways that are most meaningful and helpful for you
- Use our differences to create wholeness, balance, and magical blessings
- Love you without limit and condition
- Make you lots of green smoothies and give you lots of back rubs
- Be your ally, teammate, enthusiastic cheerleader, lover, and very best friend for the rest of our lives.
And I am so ecstatically excited for the adventure we have ahead!
And, Mayan, I know that, as I commit to your incredible dad, I also commit to you. I want you to know how beyond blessed I feel that I not only have the husband of my dreams, I have the stepson of my dreams. I am in awe of the kind, creative, loving, passionate, happy, sensitive, fish-loving, tree-and-rock climbing, martial artist, and fellow vegan that you are, and I am so excited to continue to learn from you and to believe in you and cheer you on and be a mentor and constant source of love and support through every stage of your life. I love you so much, and I commit to you for the rest of my life.
Bret to Christine
When I first met you, I was instantly enraptured with your beauty, your butterfly
sparkles, and the ecstatic mystery that surrounded you that felt infinitely alluring and familiar.
I fell in love with your intoxicating positivity and your continuous expressions of Love, Joy & Bliss that have been pure pleasure in my every day since meeting you.
I fell in love with your commitment to veganism, your integrity with all your actions, your commitment to not cause other beings pain and suffering, your empathy with the suffering in the world and your desire to heal it.
I fell in love with you on that first night when I gazed into your altar, and I saw myself
and met another part of myself that I hoped, but did not know for certain, existed in the world. And in our spirits’ meeting, I came home to a completed me, and since then, you have been the lover and spiritual guide of my life.
What I love and appreciate about you is:
How we laugh together every day, how so we have so many tasteless inside jokes that only you would understand or laugh at.
How you see the best in me, even when I don’t deserve it, but by doing so show me the path to a better me that I can’t see by myself.
How you wake up every day exuberantly alive with sunshine smiles and give me the gift of starting each day with delight and playfulness and rapture.
What I love and appreciate about you is how we have chosen to be the center of each other’s world over these past nine years and how, every day, I am reminded at some point that you know me better than anyone else because of all the life experiences, joyful and difficult, that we have journeyed through and that those years together leave me wanting to know you even more and to live a shared life together. I appreciate that you are so completely wonderful that I feel like the luckiest man alive every day you choose to be with me.
Christine, what I commit to you on this day and in this life is:
- To take 100% responsibility for everything in our relationship.
- To vulnerably expose my fears and doubts when they come up so that they don’t turn into frustration, anger, silence or distance.
- To listen first before speaking, to hear and see you, especially when it is difficult to do so.
- To never go to bed upset with you.
- To always seek to understand your thoughts and emotions.
- To communicate my truth to you in the moment and to be in complete honesty with you and to never hold any secrets from you or to take any actions that would dishonor our love.
- To never blame or criticize you and to own and apologize and learn from my mistakes if I do.
- To never stop exploring the depths of you and to give you, and us, permission to be who we are and who we are becoming in each moment in our ever evolving ever changing dance together.
- I commit for our union to be one that pushes us to grow and expand continuously as individuals and as a couple.
- To set the intention to thrive on a deeper and higher level every day we wake up and draw breath.
- I commit for our love to empower us to transcend the self-made barriers and limitations that we have placed on ourselves that keep us from realizing the full potential of our miraculous selves. And to channel the power of our love into service for all beings and healing for the Earth.
- I commit to passionately make love to you often because you are the most gorgeous beautiful AMAZING woman, inside and out, that I can ever hope to know and I never want to go a day without holding you close and feeling intimately connected to you.
- I commit to living the most glorious and ecstatic and brilliant life with you because since I met you I cannot envision a future without you at its center as my lifelong
lover and best friend.