Our Story

We worried we were just incompatible.

But (thankfully), we weren’t incompatible — we were just lacking the right tools.

We certainly never learned in school how to have a conscious, healthy, vibrant, thriving relationship.

And we’re guessing you didn’t either.

So it's no wonder most couples on the planet are struggling, miscommunicating, and stuck in less than ideal patterns.

Did you know 50% of marriages end in divorce (and most of those who stay together would certainly not describe their marriage as thriving)?

When we first got together, it was wonderful.

We gave each other our kindest, most patient, fun-loving, and thoughtful selves. We hid notes for each other to find throughout the day. We stayed up until 2 a.m. enamored with knowing everything each other thinks and feels. We sprinkled our bed with flower petals. We snuggled for hours. We made time for dates and getaways, no matter how busy life got. We overlooked the more challenging qualities and focused on each other’s best.

Fast forward a few years. We own a house together. We are co-parenting our young son. Our lives are fuller than ever.

Despite us previously thinking we are the kind of people who would never get into an argument about things like the dishes and household chores, it was happening.

Christine would nag and wish she didn’t have to play that role.

Bret would feel controlled and check out.

Christine would then feel even more frustrated.

And Bret would then check out even more.

We would try to talk about these cycles, but we both felt unheard.

In fact, talking about it only made things worse.

Oh, the fun cycles of a power struggle!

We had different views on parenting.

We idealized other potential partners — who looked especially appealing in moments like the above.

We had many moments when things were wonderful, and people saw us as a happy couple — but we would get really STUCK in certain areas.

One day, sitting on the couch, we looked at each other and realized:

We love each other, but this is no longer bringing out our best.

We wondered if we simply weren’t compatible, if our differences were too great, and if life would be better and easier with somebody else.

We knew we had three options…

Wish each other the best on our separate journeys

Keep hoping things will get better, but not actually do anything significant to change

Dive in and learn everything we possibly could about how to have a thriving relationship

That moment was the most powerful decision we ever made –

We committed to doing whatever it took to experience the fullest potential of our love.

We still cringe at what we would have unknowingly lost and missed out on if we took the first or second path.

That night, we ordered countless books and audio and video programs and started attending couples retreats around the country.

We started applying new tools and nurturing our love.

And guess what?

Our relationship completely and utterly TRANSFORMED.

We communicated in radically different ways, we both started getting our needs met, and we found amazing ways for our differences to work FOR us.

We were best friends and allies again. We laughed and played together. We heard and appreciated each other.

Things actually felt easy. THE SPARK WAS BRIGHTER and our connection was deeper THAN EVER.

Friends were constantly telling us:

“You are our role models and inspiration.”

“You are the only couple I know who actually has an amazing relationship.”

“I wish we had what you guys do.”

Many years later, and it just keeps getting better.

This is truly the relationship of our dreams and has been for over 15 years.

And to think we almost ended it
that evening, years ago.

From our own personal journey and from thousands of sessions we’ve now facilitated for other couples, we’ve discovered this:

Most relationships need a shake up, not a break up.

In other words, most couples have barely tapped into the potential for who they can be together — because they’ve simply been navigating their relationship via trial-and-error (and trying the same ineffective strategies over and over again), rather than being armed with proven formulas, tools, and a clear and easy roadmap for how to make things work SO much better (even when life is really busy).

We’ve now spent over a decade passionately studying relationships. We’ve pulled from the best resources out there and created the most powerful and effective tools we know about on the planet. We’ve studied the brilliant works of Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, Drs. Gay and Katie Hendricks, Dr. Harville Hendrix, Dr. Helen Fisher, Dr. David Schnarch, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, and countless others.

As coaches and counselors, we had been doing transformational and healing work with individuals for many years before we started working with couples. We each had our own private practice, Christine as an energy healer, mind-body practitioner, and life coach, and Bret as a psychotherapist at the hospital and other community mental health settings. After we created our own thriving relationship, we fell in love with supporting couples, and the results were exciting and undeniable. We realized that these tools really work and with couples in every stage and age.

Relationships are the one area of life where people experience the greatest unnecessary suffering AND where there is the greatest potential for love and joy.

There is simply no greater catalyst for healing and growth we’ve found.

We opened the Center for Thriving Relationships twelve years ago because we want every couple in the world to avoid all the stress, frustration, confusion, and pain that comes from not knowing the way.

We know firsthand: even with the best of intentions and a whole lot of love, it's easy to get really stuck in our relationships and bring out each other's worst - when, with a little help, we could instead bring out the best.

Through our marriage and couples counseling, sold-out couples retreats and weekend getaways, premarital counseling and coaching, online relationship course, and virtual sexuality program, we’ve now been so fortunate to help thousands of couples around the planet save their marriages, transform the problems and issues coming between them, heal and repair from infidelity, improve their communication, create a better sex life, deepen intimacy, and create thriving and lasting love that keeps getting better through the years.

The Center for Thriving Relationships has been featured in ABC, NBC, FOX, and CBS news, and our relationship advice has been published in many well known sources, like Marriage.com, Thrive Global, Happify, and beyond.

Couples repeatedly tell us that their work with us marked the defining moment in their love story.

In 2018, Christine also gave a TEDx talk that has been shared around the globe all about how to cultivate more joy, a value we hold dear in relationships.

It is the greatest honor and delight to watch couples who felt really disconnected and discouraged to fall in love again.

And their biggest regret? That they waited so long. We at the Center for Thriving Relationships are on your team and here to ensure you get from wherever you currently are in your relationship to wherever you would love to be.

>> Learn more about our bios and team here. <<

HECK YES it will work
"You guys changed my marriage for the better! Before we went on your retreat we were a step away from divorce. Neither of us were happy about that, but it seemed likely. After your retreat we have decided to get remarried (even though we never actually got divorced) so we can put the past behind us. We are putting new habits together on a daily basis so we never go back to where we were. I can’t thank you enough, and to all of those of you trying to decide if it’s worth it…if you’re both ready to listen to these two wise minds then HECK YES it will work."

Lisa Levin

We would not be together if not for you.
“We wouldn’t be together if not for you. We met you guys at the absolutely perfect time — you were truly heaven sent to us. I am blown away by what you are doing for the world. May you always be blessed with abundance, joy, and love.”

Rachel Gratz

Bret and Christine helped save and transform our marriage…
"Fantastic. Exceeded all expectations. Bret and Christine both have a special gift. They have provided insight and tools that will add so much to our relationship. Thank you!”

Nick Miller

"AMAZING & relationship changing! Bret and Christine helped save and transform our marriage! This was supposed to be a place for us to reconnect, instead it was a place we discovered our true potential for a thriving relationship! Thank you so much."

Kate Miller