Here’s a little check-in for your relationship…
Do you and your partner both feel like you can “succeed” in your relationship?
If either of you ever feel like you can never get it right, do enough, or “make your partner happy…”
…this blog comes with a whole lot of compassion, loving support, and a really important message.
One thing we’ve said over and over again to those we’ve been honored to support:
“Our partners often stop trying, not when they stop caring but when they feel like they can’t succeed.”
So what does it actually look like to help your partner feel like they can succeed?
Here are…
6 KEY ways to help your partner succeed:
(1) Rather than having expectations of your partner they never agreed to, intentionally co-create agreements that work for you both.
(2) Let your partner see you light up when they do or say something that delights you, no matter how small.
Your happiness is a reward that motivates your beloved to want to keep doing that thing!
(3) Be committed to your own personal growth.
It’s very damaging to a relationship to say some version of:
“This is just who I am. Love me as I am or leave.”
In other words, while love and acceptance are marvelous and deeply important in a thriving relationship, expecting your partner to be completely happy and satisfied with all your actions and behaviors is setting them up to fail.
Instead, what sets you both up for success?
Listening deeply to what’s important to each other, getting curious about what the relationship needs from each of you in order to grow stronger, taking your beloved’s feedback to heart, and having a growth mindset.
(4) Keep communicating daily that the things your partner does to support and love you are seen and appreciated and aren’t taken for granted.
Have you ever noticed that when someone genuinely appreciates you…
…you naturally want to keep doing the thing they appreciated?
It feels encouraging, inspiring, and connecting, doesn’t it?
The opposite is true, too.
When our efforts consistently go unnoticed…
…or it feels like nothing we do is ever enough…
…it’s easy to become discouraged, to think it doesn’t matter, and to stop putting in the effort.
(5) Be careful not to quickly follow your appreciations with criticism.
Take some moments to let the gratitude really land for them, without always diluting it with a request, criticism, or “constructive feedback.”
Let them have a win.
(6) Celebrate progress and effort, not just perfection and outcome.
It’s so important to acknowledge when your partner tried, even if it didn’t turn out perfectly.
We’re going for progress, not perfection.
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We also want to note…
This doesn’t mean ignoring the things you’d like your partner to do differently.
Healthy relationships absolutely require honest conversations, feedback, and repair.
However, if correction is the primary thing your partner hears…
…they may begin believing they’ll never get it right.
Instead, let’s create relationships that inspire, encourage, and motivate you both to be your best selves for one another.
Your simple invitation for today…
Let your partner see you light up from something they said or did (no matter how small)…
…and express appreciation to them for it, letting them know not only what you appreciate but how it made you feel and what it means to you.
Want more support?
Longing for a more connected, fulfilling, positive, encouraging, thriving relationship? No matter where you are right now on your journey, extraordinary things are possible, and we’ve watched countless couples take their relationship from “barely surviving” or “just going through the motions” to truly thriving, and we’re here for you fully!
You can reach us at 812-223-7186 M-F or schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation to learn more about our private sessions, available anywhere in the world.
Sending you so much love, hope, and support always,
